Freee write!!! Man, tonight is difficult.
I did some things today that I’m not proud of.
I’m finding my feet, and leading this Empower Life thing, is hard!! Especially as I realize the responsibility I have to do this well….it can grow really hard, really fast! And I just don’t know what I’m doing!!! The Power of Vulnerability, Brene Brown – I hope it works here!!
Anyways, I’m saddened, because .. I live in a world not yet ready for me. Not yet ready to share heart-space and …still I go on hoping, knowing so many of you reading this, are just like me in so many ways!! I’m who I am because of the people that I’ve met along the way. the misfits, the originals, the #undergrounders I’m sick of this. Done with these ideas of grandeur, where we can change the world. .. oh yes, I know we CAN ..but WILL we!?
I’m at this place where, all I can do is see 6 inches in front of me…in a manner of speaking… that who I am is no longer my own. Everything I do or say will be held over me, and I need to be so careful, for those around me, and for the world. Nobody else says, hey – lets all partner together and make the world a better place..probably because all their friends say…no, it can’t be done… people can’t work together altruistically.
Maybe this is my childhood faith coming through…in snippets and ideas, maybe it’s the same for you. Maybe that’s why you’re here today, because of Hope!!
I don’t know why you’re here, I just know that I have a Hope and a Dream… I never got to give a speech on my dreams, for our world…and truth be told, my dreams are a lot smaller. I’d be happy living on an island with close friends in the presence of the Holy Spirit! I’d totally love to just dance the nights away, in the arms of my loving husband’s arms 😉 catch that!? yup, I said arms twice. I talk kinda funny, but its because I love life, I’m SUPER excited for all the things to come, and I just don’t know yet, what this means!
I don’t yet know why I’m here, but I believe through my conversations with the universe, … through possibility and very low probability, I think this world CAN, and SHOULD BE a Better Place.
I don’t know why we’re here, or what I’m doing thinking that childish dreams can come true…but I think that, maybe, just maybe you’re a little like me, and the possibility that strikes us both as odd, is that He just might be listening. And when I say He, I mean our Great Big GOD?! I don’t know what to call him…but if you’ve heard of the kid who defends the reality of God, in EVERY CONVERSATION, … I think I like that reality, much better than the one WHERE NOBODY Cares. I don’t know what’s coming, I don’t know what’s happening, and most of the time, I’m just too scared to acknowledge the reality of God that I sense and seem to perceive in MY LIFE.
So here goes, People, My friends and foes, I’m taking part in this journey, with a few close friends from over the years, and I’m just willing to say, Thank You. On This Journey, Thank You for standing by me. I don’t know what I’d do without YOU! because I know what it’s like to be alone. I know … I know… I know, what it’s like to look up at the stars and yell as loud as you can, saying!! I want to know You! CREATOR in all your glory and hiddenness, I WANT to Know WHAT YOU’re ABOUT!! And I just hope, that somebody else, will join me in this journey called LOVE …I LOVE the art of possibility …but I know that there is low probability, and I also know, that if you’re still here…you’re believing with me, and that just might stir me on stronger than I might have ever even dreamed before!!! GOD BLESS!! and GOODNIGHT! 😀 #closinggroup #forthemostpart
Hey, Jesus! If you’re out there, this hurts. it hurts to be Vulnerable, Brene Brown, it hurts to transition from Fear towards Joy … it’s hard to be Vunerability in its human state (if there’s such a thing)…but share tales I may, and seekers find joy, but man, it tastes good, when we share in this heart-space together!!! Doesn’t it!? I don’t know yet…I’m just listening…to see if anyone will join me, in this race called life.
Thank you!!! 🙂